- People at the party: “Wow, look at you. You’re so ugly!”
- Me: “Aww, thanks! That’s so sweet of you!”
Hanukkah (Christmas too… but we’re Jewish, so let’s stick with Hanukkah shall we?) is one of the few occasions where calling someone ugly might be the biggest compliment in the world… IF they’re wearing an ugly Hanukkah sweater (don’t start calling random people ‘ugly’, unless you want to get punched in the face).
But you have to earn your “compliments”, especially nowadays – where everyone is trying hard to out-wit each other with the funniest, most awkward Hanukkah sweaters they can pull off (seriously, it’s like an ugly-pageant out there).
Luckily, you’ve landed in the right place… because I’m about to show you how to WIN the ugly-pageant with the ugliest (and funniest) Hanukkah sweaters ever created!
Table of Contents
Top Ugly Hanukkah Sweaters
SPOILER ALERT: It was surprisingly hard to pick a favorite ugly sweater for Hanukkah, but here goes!
Women's Hanukkah Sweater Men's Hanukkah Sweater Kid's Hanukkah Sweater
Top Women's Sweater
Top Men's Sweater
Top Kid's Sweater
Women's Come On Baby Light My Menorah Sweater - With Flashing LED Lights Happy Llamakah Men's Ugly Christmas Sweater Happy Hanukkah Ugly Sweater Long Sleeve T Shirt Get it Here Get it Here Get it Here Sweater Type
Top Women's Sweater
Women's Come On Baby Light My Menorah Sweater - With Flashing LED Lights
Type: Women's Hanukkah Sweater Get it Here
Top Men's Sweater
Happy Llamakah Men's Ugly Christmas Sweater
Type: Men's Hanukkah Sweater Get it Here
Top Kid's Sweater
Happy Hanukkah Ugly Sweater Long Sleeve T Shirt
Type: Kid's Hanukkah Sweater Get it Here
Women’s Hanukkah Sweaters
Ladies first! (Boys, wait your turn)
To be honest, I could’ve easily included dozens of sweaters on this list… there are so many cool Hanukkah sweaters to choose from! But that would defeat the point, now would it? I want to help you make a decision, not overwhelm you with a ton of ridiculous shirts to the point where you can’t decide which one to get.
So, I asked myself: “What are the 5 ugliest, funniest Hanukkah sweaters I would LOVE to wear to a Hanukkah/Christmas party?”
See for yourself…Top Women’s Sweater
Ok, this was a no brainer. Of course, I would pick the sweater that LIGHTS UP as the Top Hanukkah sweater!
Ever since Beverly lit up her Hanukkah sweater on The Goldberg’s, this sweater has been selling like hotcakes every Hanukkah, and I suspect it’ll be the same this year (”2020”)
Let’s face it – it’s very hard to out-do an ugly Hanukkah sweater with a Menorah that literally lights up over and over again… you’ll have to come up with something incredibly creative to overcome that (hint hint – you’ll find out what I’m talking about in a second 🙂 )
“You spin me right round, baby right round!”
If you grew up in the ’80s or ’90s, you just got hit by a massive flood of nostalgia, didn’t you? (that’s exactly how I felt when I first saw it)
Who would’ve thought that 30 years after the song was released, it would turn into a giant Hanukkah meme and a bestselling ugly sweater?
This unique Hanukkah sweater does more than just grab attention; it’s also super comfy! It’ll keep you warm throughout Hanukkah… so much so, that you’d wish Hanukkah lasted longer than just 8 days.
Note: But hey, don’t let that stop you! Feel free to wear it even after Hanukkah has ended. Who cares what people think? It’s friggin’ cold outside!
I don’t even know which part made me laugh when I first saw this sweater:
- The octopus wearing a Kippah?
- The octopus “cheating” by lighting all 8 Menorah candles at the same time?
- Or because it’s a freakin’ octopus lighting a Menorah!
Probably all of the above…
Note: This sweater is Unisex. Boys – you’re more than welcome to also try it on!
If you’ve seen the movie “The Night Before” – this Star of David Hanukkah sweater should look awfully familiar (pun intended).
(hint: Seth Rogen was wearing a similar sweater in the movie)
Except, this is for the ladies (sorry boys).
Let me first start by saying: the facial expression of the model is a bit exaggerated. Sure, it’s a cute and remarkably ugly Hanukkah sweater… but it’s not that exciting.
After all, it’s just two dreidels dancing around a Menorah with their eyes pupils dilated… they must’ve overdosed on something (Sufganiyot maybe?).
It looks kind of ridiculous… which is exactly the point!
Men’s Hanukkah Sweaters
OK, boys… it’s your turn to get ugly!
Just like with the women’s sweaters, it was bloody hard to pick my favorite men’s sweaters.
Especially since, well, I’m a girl…
So, I turned to Rafael, my Amen V’Amen colleague, and asked him:
“If I had a piece of broccoli (he hates broccoli) pointed at your face, and forced you to pick the top 5 funniest Hanukkah sweaters at a party… which ones would you pick?”
Here’s his list…Top Men’s Sweater
This Happy Llamakah sweater is genius. There are a bunch of Llamakah sweaters out there, but this one is on a whole other level.
It takes a few moments of actually looking at the sweater to appreciate how absurd this sweater really is.
Let me help:
- The Llama is wearing glasses
- The Llama is wearing a Tallit with tassels sticking out of the sweater (!)
- The seemingly random background pattern is actually a collection of Stars of David stringed together.
Like I said: genius.
It’s the ultimate conversation starter. And I guarantee that conversation will be a funny one (and full of compliments)!
Since many of us are attending a Christmas/Hanukkah party (aka “Chrismukkah”), it makes sense to include a split Christmas-Hanukkah shirt and a rather ugly one at that.
- The colors are WAY to vibrant, and the color combination makes no sense at all
- The tie features Santa staring at the Star of David
- The bird looks furious – like he’s about to tear the gingerbread cookie into pieces
And the worst (i.e best) thing, it’s all 3D – which makes all of these disharmonized design elements look crisp!
It’s one of the ugliest, most bipolar shirts ever designed. In other words: IT’S A WINNER.
I had to include the men’s version of the flashing Menorah sweater… otherwise, it would just be unfair.
Men deserve their own flashing Menorahs!
Tip: If you’re attending a party as a couple – wear matching Hanukkah sweaters! That way, you can light each other’s Menorahs! The Goldbergs would be so proud!
Honestly, this sweater isn’t all that ugly. It’s actually quite cool.
You could easily wear it throughout the year and it’ll continue to be funny. Especially if you also have Payos and wear traditional Jewish clothing just like the character on the shirt. It’ll feel like your personal sweater!
I saved the funniest Hanukkah sweater for last! (Ok, second to the Llama).
The Tipsy Elves folks are known for their eccentric (and comfortable) designs. And they certainly didn’t disappoint with the Jewnicorn!
It’s awkward, politically incorrect, extremely inappropriate, and 100% hideous!
Now that’s the ugly Hanukkah spirit!
Kids & Toddlers Hanukkah Sweaters
Calling a baby ‘ugly’ is one of the rudest things you can do. But this is Hanukkah; and on Hanukkah, nobody is immune to the ugliness of Hanukkah sweaters… even babies.
(Can you feel the tension? Oy vey…)Top Kid’s Sweater
Let’s start with a “light” one. This Happy Hanukkah sweater is moderately ugly (I never thought you could use these two words together).
It’s not nearly as ugly as the majority of adult Hanukkah sweaters I showed you earlier.
Remember: kids are fragile little creatures. They don’t feel as comfortable as you do wearing ugly clothes.
So take it easy on them (especially if it’s their first time wearing an ugly Hanukkah sweater)…
Or, at the very least, make sure you wear a Hanukkah shirt that is 10X more ugly than theirs!
Whoever came up with the idea of Menorasaurus Rex should get a medal (or at least a piece of chocolate gelt).
Did You Know?
We even featured an amazing Menorasaurus Rex Menorah in our list of favorite silver Menorahs!
IMHO, it’s one of the best characters ever created to get the kids excited about Hanukkah.
So the kids can take comfort in the fact that their new ugly Hanukkah shirt at least has a cool dinosaur on it.
Ok, this Hanukkah bodysuit is just too cute. It’s technically considered an ugly sweater, but there’s nothing about it that’s remotely ugly (even the dreidels are cute!).
There’s no point in being too religious with the whole ‘ugly sweaters’ thing. Sometimes, it’s worth getting a Hanukkah sweater just because it’s adorable.
“Oy to the world!”
Now there’s a funny Hanukkah shirt for a toddler! I’m sure it’ll get quite a few good laughs from your friends, family members (and even teachers).
Pets Hanukkah Sweaters & Costumes
What? You thought I would skip our loyal, fluffy friends? Are pets not human?
Like it or not, they’re part of the family, for better or for worse! (I guess it means this part is the “worse”…)
I think the costume says it all. Let’s just leave it at that.
Not a costume per se, more like a Hanukkah accessory. Still, I’m sure it’ll get some giggles from your friends and family (don’t forget to upload a photo or video on social media).
It’s unclear to me whether dressing your dog in a Tutu means that you’re funny or mean (probably a bit of both).
You know, the whole “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want to be done unto you”, yada yada yada…
Screw it, it’s Hanukkah… Bring on the Tutu! (I hope your dog doesn’t bite)
If you prefer giving your dog a break, this tank top is not nearly as embarrassing as the Tutu… but still cute as hell!
If you consider yourself to be a rule-breaker – now is your chance to prove it: while everyone else is out there trying to impress everyone with their fancy outfits, you go the opposite way and wear the ugliest Hanukkah sweater they’ve ever seen. I bet that’ll turn a few heads.
Now get out there and make a ruckus, you devil you! (don’t forget to bring a gift)
Happy Hanukkah 🙂